“It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.” Ecclesiastes 7.2 KJV
Funerals for Christians should be very different than funerals for unbelievers. If they were more different, then I believe that more people would get saved at, or because of funerals. They often don’t feel different though, because the same Bible verses are quoted in the same way at both kinds. It’s easy to see why speakers at funerals want to comfort everyone in the room when a loved one dies. Try to appreciate the meaning of Ecclesiastes 7.2 though. Eternity may be at stake for someone in that room.
The most important decision
The house of mourning passage from Ecclesiastes speaks to the value of letting people be uncomfortable about the subject of death in the interest of making the most important decision of their lives. Don’t be afraid of what they think of you. Resist the temptation to tell them that their loved ones are in a better place unless you know that he or she accepted Christ while still alive. Seek God’s help to be the witness we all should be in that very special eternal situation — namely, the end of a life here on earth.
Even well-intending ministers who read the 23rd Psalm or some other reference to death from the Bible, would do better to stop talking and let the mourners think about their own lives where God is concerned, rather than simply comforting attendees. The Apostle Paul was a believer who wrote large parts of the New Testament. His testimony of death was, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1.21). Only believing Christians can say that truthfully, but it’s been my experience that ministers at funerals leave that part out as a rule.
Between Sorrow and Celebration?
LIke most families, we’ve attended a lot of funerals. Many have been for brothers and sisters who’ve gone home. They’ve been very different from those for unbelievers, as you’d of course expect. Some think it should be a celebration, but I don’t feel like celebrating the fact that I won’t see my parents again for a long time.
On the other hand, consider 1Thessalonians 13: “But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. [14] For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him”.