How we get over hurt feelings has a different answer for true Christians than for unbelievers who haven’t had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ. Christians live their lives with a purpose that’s much larger than themselves. They may or may not see their lives that way, but it’s how God sees it: “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day”. (Proverbs 4.18)
If you’re truly a Christian, then you know what it is to be “BORN” into his Kingdom. Do you also know that after being born into his Kingdom – or “born again” – it’s then important to “grow up” in his Kingdom too? How do we grow up in his Kingdom? By reading and meditating on the “pure milk” of his word… the Bible. But also by learning when God exercises our spiritual self …. “But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil” (Hebrews 5.14). Those lessons can sometimes be joyful. Often though, the lessons that teach us best are those learned while in great pain. It’s important to know how to handle those hurts!
God exercises his children. He never tempts us to sin, but he does let us go through life’s many difficulties – especially those who ask him for greater responsibilities! Little children don’t go to work every day to support their families. Grown-ups support their families. Little children spend their days playing and receiving from adults. Eventually children grow and graduate to adulthood to take their places in the fields working toward the harvest along with other adults, but only if they learn – only if they continue in God’s school – and only if they don’t QUIT because of their hurts!
Children who fail to learn in schools today have to repeat that grade again. When Christians fail to learn lessons, God does the same thing. If you respond to hurt from your mate with anger, don’t expect God to change your mate. You have no control over that person. The person you do have control over YOU. You want God to see what your mate is doing wrong. What if you’re the person he’s working to change? The Bible says, “Iron sharpens iron”. Picture a file and a knife. For Christians, God’s hand is on the file: We’re the knife. Like good parents dealing with the foolishness of children, he means it only for our good. Read and memorize Romans 8.28 if you question that.
Babies in Christ who haven’t yet learned how to get over hurt feelings lash back in anger. They try to injure that person just as they were injured. Mature Christians respond very differently. The pain is the same, but their response begins with silence, refusing to let their tongues steer their whole body into sin. The Holy Spirit then replaces their hurt with comfort from the lord’s example while on the cross: “Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do.” and “forgive us OUR trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
“A soft answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15.1)
“…in meekness instructing them, if God peradventure, will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth.” (2 Timothy 2.25)
You never know what thoughts will fill that angry person while they lay their heads down that night. Your response to their having injured you can either drive them away from God, or draw them closer. The choice is yours, and make no mistake: God is very interested in how you… how all of us decide.